He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
