She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
