all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize