Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
