Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
