come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize