**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
