My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you didnt know i had herpes?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
