I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
