I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
