clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
