I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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