We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I have post one night stand depression
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