no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
