yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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