Your dad touched me again.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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