You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
