Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
