So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
