I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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