I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
