i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So squirting runs in the family.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
