i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
