Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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