Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
