he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
