What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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