I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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