Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
