Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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