Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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