oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
