you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
