Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We had to coat check the pizza.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
