Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my shit smells like andre
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
