i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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