drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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