just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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