how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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