i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
