I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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