question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You need Xanax blowdarts
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
