FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
