I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
