God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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