I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
