Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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