Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
