Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
