Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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