why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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