it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
