as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize