My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
