this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
