It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
