is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
