You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
