yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
