seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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